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Game Details

Date/Time: Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Location: http://www.buzzflash.org
Score: 88 - 12
Winner: Dick Cheney
Name: Dick Cheney
Seed: 1
Dick "Secret Location" Cheney

Running on the heart/pacemaker that will not die, Dick Cheney's Darth Vader routine was strong enough to make him the other #1 seed. Cheney also derives power from longevity, going back to his days of working for Gerald Ford.

The money Cheney made off Halliburton while acting as vice president. The votes against Head Start and Nelson Mandela. Going against his own stance on Saddam Hussein from his days as Secretary of Defense. The man-sized safe. This is a lot of evil.

We wondered if Cheney would even make it to the event, but as we saw over the weekend on CNN, he hasn't lost a step at being clueless and evil -- even within the same sentence.
Name: Bill O'Reilly
Seed: 3
Bill "Do It Live" O'Reilly

Weighing in with an ego the size of Texas, Bill "Do It Live" O'Reilly is a major contender. This long-time Fox player has an amazing pivot; he's able to turn on a dime, especially when it comes to hypocritical statements about privacy, sex and drugs. Furthermore, his amazing ability to spin and weave through well-established facts -- what some observers have termed the "Oh Really?" Factor -- is nothing short of legendary.

He's been the de facto team captain in the War on Christmas scrimmages for years, though his passion seems to have waned a bit in recent seasons. He seems to have lost some of his insanity cred, at least when compared to his new fellow player on Fox, Glenn "Bats**t Crazy" Beck. Of course, if O'Reilly's sports career peters out, he'll always have his music to fall back on.
 


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